


Kotetsu's Dreams of Falling

by MakikoIgami



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakikoIgami/pseuds/MakikoIgami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Setting is after Episode 25. Kotetsu is hospitalized, and it's night. He is dreaming one of his reoccurring dreams and muses over a lot of things after he wakes up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kotetsu's Dreams of Falling

**Title:** Kotetsu's Dreams of Falling  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Pairing:** Barnaby/Kotetsu-Bro-ness.  
 **Wordcount:** 3,903  
 **Spoilers:** All of the series  
 **Warnings:** Mostly angst, some hurt/comfort, but mostly only just friendship.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Even though I did spend a lot of money already. 8D  
 **Summary:** Setting is after Episode 25. Kotetsu is hospitalized, and it's night. He is dreaming one of his reoccurring dreams and muses over a lot of things after he wakes up.

* * *

Kotetsu was dreaming.

He was falling, just like he frequently did in his dreams. In fact, there was a time when he always dreamt that he was falling, falling from some uknown heights down onto a far-away surface. Sometimes there wasn't even a surface and he just kept falling endlessly into a black void. Sometimes he would see Tomoe's face above him and he tried to reach out to her, tried to touch her, but whenever he thought he could reach her she was out of his reach and he could feel the pull downwards again.

The first times he had woken up with a start, panting and sweating and he had to pinch himself to make sure that he was still alive and that he hadn't died because in his dreams he never reached the ground. And during school he had been told - by his friends, and they always knew best! - that you'd die if you woke up before you hit the ground in your dream. Thinking of it now, it was pretty stupid that you'd die once you woke up, but back then, he had believed them.

During many times Tomoe had been there to calm him down afterwards, but then she had fallen ill and the dreams intensified. And then the fateful day came when he couldn't make it back in time and he could only find her with a cloth over her face, asleep forever.

That was when he started to drink so much that he wouldn't dream of anything anymore.

And then he started falling outside of his dreams as well. But there was somebody to catch him before he could hit the ground. And then he hit the ground after all, when that stupid rookie dropped him to save Blue Rose from getting shot.

Kotetsu hated falling almost as much as he hated hospitals. He hated the feeling of being unable to stop where he was going, to _choose_ the direction he was going to, whether be it up or down, left or right. That was why he would still drink enough at night so that he would pass out wherever he was, in whatever clothes he was wearing at that time and not dream of falling after falling asleep.

But he was in a hospital now, he couldn't follow through his little ritual, much less with Kaede around. Or Bunny. And damn, after that event with Maverick and the androids he didn't leave his side for one second.

Therefore, the dream he was having now was the most vivid one he had in ages and this time he even knew _why_ he was falling this time.

He had been shot.

Right in the middle of his chest.

Had stumbled back over the edge of the roof of a skyscraper and was falling backwards, the pain in his chest being almost too much.

But the worst part about it was that he could see Bunny's face in front of him, just like he had just before he had passed out from the real pain of getting shot two days ago, eyes full of tears and regret, of pain and remorse and he felt an entirely different pain in his chest.

And still he kept falling. Could feel how his heart slowed down and how darkness surrounded him further with every breath that he took, every expanse of his chest as he inhaled. And then there was Bunny, watching him with a pain worse than his, a pain that didn't stem from any physical wounds.

'Kotetsu...!'

And then he woke up, startled, sweaty, panting heavily, amber eyes wide in the darkness of the hospital room and oh, how he hated these. He had told them yesterday that he wanted to go home, that he would be fine on his own, that he could heal himself well enough with his 100 Power, but they didn't let him. Kaede had told him to stay, Barnaby had told him to stay, even his brother - who had come over to pick up Kaede, but ended up staying there as well to make sure his little brother was going to rest in the hospital until he was completely healed - had told him to stay, despite knowing that he hated hospitals with a vengeance.

And now he was not only dreaming of falling, but also of the very real thing of hurting Barnaby.

"Kotethu..."

Speaking of the devil, Kotetsu could hear a faint murmur to his left and he looked down, just to see the vague outlines of his partner at the side of his bed, fast asleep on his arms. The nurses must have had pity with him because his glasses were resting on the table next to him and a thick blanket was draped over his shoulders.

Despite the horrifying dream that he had just had, Kotetsu smiled down at his partner, who looked so very young right now. Once again, he couldn't help but pity him... Now that not only his parents were killed, but also his only link to the past, the only last two bits that he had considered family were either killed or had betrayed him so badly... If Kotetsu were in his place, he would have probably killed himself by drinking too much.

But the kid was strong; he fought on and on, even if it was just for revenge at first, Kotetsu knew that he had had some impact on him, that points weren't the only reason for being a hero for Bunny or otherwise he wouldn't have quit along with him.

Then, his smile wavered a bit, growing a bit sad.

Barnaby still had so much of a great career in front of him, becoming maybe the greatest hero in all time. Hell, he was already better than Mr. Legend, having reached and broken his record within his rookie year. Of course Kotetsu knew that he wouldn't have managed to get this far without his help, but what mattered at the end of the day were the points and the respect of the other heroes and Barnaby had both.

On the other hand, Barnaby chose the right to quit when he was at the peak of his career. Not like him, who had missed the exit by miles...

When the blond shifted slightly in his sleep, turning his head from one side to the other, Kotetsu lifted his hand, hesitating a moment because he was about to do something that he had not even thought about doing before because he feared Barnaby's reaction. But then he exhaled with a small snort, because really, what was he afraid of, Barnaby was sleeping, he wouldn't kill him, and put his hand on top of the delicate blond curls. He waited a moment, wondering if Bunny would weak up from such a soft touch and he half expected his defensive walls to be that good, but the blond continued sleeping peacefully, probably not dreaming of dreaded falls and other shit.

"Kotetsu..."

Smiling as the other mumbled his name again - this time without the almost unnoticable lisp - Kotetsu started petting the unexpectedly soft curls. For some reason he had always thought that Barnaby used a lot of hair products to fix his hair into their usual state, but thinking about it, it made more sense that they were this soft, considering how obsessed he was with the quality of everything and his biweekly visits at his hairdressers.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," he mumbled, twirling a strand around his index finger. Bunny's hair was thin, too. Not thick like his or Tomoe's or Kaede's hair. Even as a baby, Kaede had thicker hair than Bunny... Barnaby.

Kotetsu frowned, wondering if his partner - 'Ex-partner!' he corrected himself - wouldn't protest against his nickname anymore, seeing as it was the link that brought him back from the fogs that Maverick had created inside his head.

"...That was a pretty cool comparison, huh? 'Bringing you back from the fogs that Maverick has created inside your head.' Damn, I come up with the coolest things sometimes," Kotetsu mumbled to himself, finding the motion of petting Bunny's air oddly relaxing. Almost like it felt like with a pet dog or cat or something. A pet bunny maybe.

Kotetsu chuckled about his own thought, thinking that it was quite ridiculous to think of Barnaby as a real bunny. He was a proud human, just like him, and a fluffy, cute animal absolutely didn't do him justice. A lion or a panther or maybe a cheetah would be so much better, because Barnaby definitely fought like a lion and was quick like a cheetah... But his ears! And his obsession with red and pink and really... sometimes he just really cute like a bunny and Barnaby was really just too long to pronounce.

"Kotetsu... stop that," came a growl from below and, being pulled out of his reverie, Kotetsu looked down just to see that his fingers had tangled quite painfully into the blond's hair.

"Uwah! Sorry!" Kotetsu flailed and pulled his hand away, just to tug harshly at the other's hair, earning himself another growl and he tried to calm down so that he could carefully retract his fingers from the now pretty tousled hair. As soon as he had freed his hand, Barnaby sat up and glared at him, probably sour from being pulled out of what was the first bit of deep, relaxing sleep.

"Sorry... What are you doing here, by the way? Shouldn't you be home by now?" Kotetsu asked, catching himself how he tried to memorize the feeling of Barnaby's hair on his fingers.

"I was worried about you. You kept blacking out and when they had said you had finally fallen asleep again, I didn't believe them and stayed here just in case you'd wake up and didn't know where you are," Barnaby explained as he reached for his glasses and adjusted them on his nose, frowning when his vision adjusted to the darkness surrounding them. He didn't bother to turn on the light, feeling much more comfortable in this kind of twilight.

Kotetsu nodded, but didn't quite believe him. Still, he said nothing. "But I'm sure you'd sleep better in a bed than on a chair," he pointed out, hoping Barnaby would catch the light joke in his voice.

"...You don't want me to be here?" Barnaby asked, voice and face almost unreadable, but Kotetsu was sure that he could hear a bit of hurt there.

"Ugh, it's not like I don't appreciate that you are worried about me. I'm actually deeply moved," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "But I'm also worried, I mean, I'm still your partner - more or less - and I need to look out for you-"

"Kotetsu. I can look out for myself well enough," Barnaby said sternly.

"Yeah. I know."

"It was my decision to stay by your side."

"Thanks for that."

"...I feel guilty for what happened," the blond finally confessed, fiddling with his fingers.

Kotetsu's eyes went wide. That was the closest that he had ever gotten from Barnaby as a direct apology. The picture of his tear-filled eyes as he leaned over him came back to him and he had to shake his head to make it go away.

"For what exactly? For me no telling you that my powers'd run out quicker than yours? That you should have hurried with shooting that stupid gun? Please, with the power that thing possessed, I doubt I'd've been able to withstand even with my powers," Kotetsu snorted, knowing exactly what was going through the young man's mind at that time. But, truth be told, he didn't even know anymore when exactly his powers had run out, just in that moment when Bunny had pulled the trigger? Before that? After the bolt of power had hit him? Hell, that thing had basically fried his suit and not even Fire Emblem or Lunatics flames had been able to do that, so the power behind would have surely killed him if not for that suit, no matter if his power had been on or not.

But to his surprise, Barnaby shook his head.

"No... I can tell myself that it wasn't my fault, that it couldn't be helped... I'm sorry that I haven't listened more closely to what you've tried to tell me. You never talk much about yourself, so when you started to tell me... I should have listened. Right from the start. I'm sorry," Barnaby sighed, still frowning.

"Oh, that," Kotetsu started. That was indeed hard to explain. And he felt very guilty, too, because he hadn't trusted Bunny enough to tell him about his reclining powers. "That's... that's my fault, too, mostly. I should have come clear the moment I had the chance to do so, but... you were already hurting so much, I didn't want to anger you any more." He snorted. "But that pretty much backfired, huh."

"Yeah... you're horrible when you try not to anger me," Bunny snorted softly as well. "I mean, I crumble down in front of you and what do I get? Some measly lies and excuses that not even your daughter would believe."

Kotetsu winced visibly, this time not from any physical pain, but because he knew that Bunny was right. That he had been telling him half-baked lies just so not to endanger him when it would have been so much better just to tell him the truth. But that was something Kotetsu couldn't do, not back then. That would have meant - for him - to open up himself completely to the other, and that in a public place, too! Kotetsu's pride then was way too big to be honest with himself and his partner. That it made them both suffer more than necessary was the logical outcome, but he would not have done anything different.

"I'm sorry, Bunny. Please believe me. I will not... I will not let you down again," Kotetsu sighed, watching the cords that went into his arm as if they were the most interesting things in the world, when all that he wanted to do was to rip them out and run out of here.

"It's... it's okay, you don't need to be sorry. It's the way you are and if I want to continue being your partner, I need to listen to you better," Bunny replied with a small sigh of his own as if he really didn't want to hear the older man this depressed.

"By the way, how are you feeling? How's... how is your head?" Kotetsu asked, genuinely wondering about the other's state of mind.

"It's all a bit foggy and I can't really remember much and I'm really confused about some of my feelings, but with given time, I think the effect will pass," the blond explained.

"Do you think... do you think Maverick has left any permanent damage on you?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't think I will ever remember the face of the murderer that I saw when my parents were killed. It does keep changing, even though I know it should be... should be him," Barnaby said, and Kotetsu noted with great interest how he avoided his father figure's name. "And the one I'm returning from the ice skate rink with is still him, even though I now know should have been Aunt Samantha..."

"Ah, don't dwell on it too much then. We now know who the real murderer was, let's move on now, okay?" Kotetsu nodded, feeling that this was really a case closed by now.

Barnaby on the other hand didn't sound that convinced. "Yeah... Let's rest this case and move on."

"That's the spirit!" Kotetsu praised and patted the blond's shoulder, or rather, the part of the arm that he was able to reach. "A new life has truly started, for both of us. It's best to move on!"

But he knew that it was pretty hypocritical, coming from him, when he himself dwelled still so much on the past, on his old glory and the happier times with his wife.

"It is..." Barnaby mumbled, sounding very forlorn all of a sudden.

"Do you know what you're going to do now?" Kotetsu asked, too curious to hold it back, even though he was still trying to follow his usual way of not asking too many questions.

"I don't know... I want to continue with my parents' research, I don't want anything like Rotwang's androids to ever happen again and by that I will have to make sure that our research is still more advanced that anybody else's," Bunny explained.

"I see..." Kotetsu nodded, a little dissatisfied, because he had expected this kind of professional answer from somebody like his partner, but would have wished for a more private one. "What... what about _you_?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, please, I think you know exactly what I mean."

"No," Barnaby shook his head, looking at him dumb-founded.

Kotetsu sighed, frowning slightly. He couldn't just ask: 'How are you dealing with the fact that each and every member of your family is dead and Christmas is coming soon?' No, even he could be more considerate than that.

"Um... Well, I was wondering, since... since I guess your last Christmas was what, 21 years ago? If you wanted to spend at least the holidays with my family... It would probably be the best present I could ever give to my daughter, so it's a pretty selfish request," he offered sheepishly, wondering if Bunny thought he was a pitiful old man now.

Barnaby's eyes went wide. "...With you and your family?"

"Yeah, I guess it would be better than sitting along at home on Christmas eve with no one around."

Whoops, there he said it.

"Ah, uh, I don't... I mean, I did mean it, but... not like that, ah damn, you know what I want to say."

Barnaby _chuckled_ , making Kotetsu relax slightly despite his faux-pas.

"If you ask me like that, I guess I'll just have to come. I mean, you and Saitou are pretty much the only family I have left," Barnaby admitted.

"I guess I have to invite the mechanic as well then. And Ben, too! Nobody should be alone on Christmas, ever," Kotetsu smiled, indescribable happy that this had gone so well. "Can I wrap you up and present you to Kaede then?"

Barnaby chuckled at the lame joke of the other. "Only if you let me wrap you up as well. After all, she also found out how cool you really are, so maybe I'm not her favorite hero anymore, after she had found out that Wild Tiger is her father, hm?"

"Did she say that? Did she say I was her favorite hero?" Kotetsu asked, getting completely excited over such a small thing, but his hopes were crushed by Barnaby's suppressed laughter.

"Not yet, but who knows? Maybe she will say that one day?"

"Geez, Bunny, you're a terrible joker."

"I never said I was good at it, old man."

Kotetsu continued pouting while Barnaby's chuckle echoed on, but was interrupted when the other got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Toilet. And then I need something to drink. Do you want a tea as well?"

"Uh... some water would be nice, I guess," Kotetsu nodded, even though he felt like he needed the toilet as well, now that Bunny had mentioned it.

He watched the blond nod and turn around to leave and when he had almost left the room, Kotetsu felt the need to call him back.

"Wait... I need to tell you something."

"...What is it?"

"Thank you."

"Hm? For what?"

"For... for catching me. For sticking with me till the end. For... for listening to me when we're in a pinch, for trusting me. I... I dream of falling a lot and I hate it almost as much as I hate hospitals. Sometimes you're there to catch me, just like you did when we met for the first time. And you're here now, too... when I didn't expect you to. You're... you're a good partner. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble when I should have been the one looking out for you."

Being unable to see Bunny's face in the darkness of the room only left him with reading his reaction through his voice, and the footsteps that took him back to his bed. A calloused, but perfectly manicured hand enclosed his and squeezed lightly. "You'd have done the exact same thing for me, Kotetsu. You're very welcome."

Somehow, Kotetsu expected a kiss to his forehead, much like he would have done to Kaede had she been in his situation, but this was Bunny and even though they had hugged before... Now would have definitely been weird to start with friendship kisses.

"I also have something I need to tell you," Bunny said after he had let go of his hand. "I'll tell you when I get back with the tea."

"Oh? What is it? I'm curious! Tell me now, lil' Bunny! Bunny? Hey! Don't just leave like that!" he said as loudly as he dared in the quiet of the hospital just before he heard the door click back shut again.

He wracked his brain what it was that Bunny could want to tell him, but he was absolutely unable to come up with something that they haven't talked about before. Maybe it was something from his childhood? Or from his days at the academy?

But before Barnaby could return, he had fallen asleep again, still too exhausted from the pain he had to deal with. And thus, he was unable to find out just what Bunny had wanted to tell him, because when he woke up the next time, Kaede was there with the doctors and they told him that he had recovered well enough for them to allow him to go home, finally.

And over the happiness and stress of moving out of the hospital and his apartment and getting his stuff back home to Oriental Town, he pretty much forgot that there was ever anything Bunny had wanted to tell him. If it was something important, he would tell him eventually, or so he told himself.

Still, he continued to dream about falling every now and then, but he didn't panic about it anymore, because he somehow knew that he would be caught before he could reach the ground. And as long as he could, he would look out for Barnaby in his parents' stead. That was the least he could do.

* * *

[Dreams of Falling on Dreammoods.com](http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/fallingdreams.pl?method=exact&header=dreamid&search=fallingintro)

[Abstürzen auf Deutung.com](http://deutung.com/traum/viewsym.php?symbol=abstuErzen&keyword=abstuErzen)


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